Prayer of Invitation

Feel me.
Search me.
Read my mind.
Understand me like no other can.
Come closer, touch me.
Melt me.
Mold me.
Fill my heart and soul with your wondrous love.
Repair me.
Stripped of all pretense and fear,
I lay my life open to you.
Use it to your full purpose and satisfaction.
Amen.

A Prayer of Praise

If I curled up,
Just went to sleep for a hundred days,
Never calling on you,
Never whispering your name
Would you miss me?

If I hid,
Just kept to the shadows,
Never signaling I was there,
Never giving you a sign,
Would you notice?

If I was silent,
Just ignoring all your calls,
Never answering your questions,
Never answering your cries,
Would you keep trying?

I tried curling up.
I tried hiding.
I tried to be silent.

You never stopped missing me,
Never stopped calling on me,
Never stopped looking for me.

Lord God, You never stopped loving me.
And You never will.

Just When I Needed it Most

I had been feeling a little disconnected with church lately, and I almost did not go this Sunday because of some recent lackluster experiences there.

But for some reason, I went anyway. And God had something very special for me and for everyone who attended!! Such a wonderful service in all respects. It restored me. It moved me. I laughed, I cried, I sang, I prayed and I praised my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! It was brilliantly fulfilling!! I left thinking just how different my attitude would be at this very moment had I NOT gone to church that day.

Amazing grace, your sound is so sweet. Stay with me a while and strengthen me in your power and your love. Give me the courage and desire to show to others the same grace you have afforded me, and to share your life-saving love with them. Amen.

Shock within the church

Over the last weeks, I've heard about 2 big shocks within the Christian community. The first, is Todd Bentley, from Fresh Fire Ministries. The news came straight from the Board Of Directors, and briefly announced Todd's step down from ministry for a season, due to his "unhealthy emotional relationship" with a female member of his staff.

The second... the second hits far closer to home.

Planetshakers City Church. Its not MY church, but it IS where my sister has attended for several years now. Over the past 2 years, members of the church, the community, and indeed Christians the world over have been praying and praying for Pr Mike Guglielmucci. It was announced the Mike was suffering from cancer, that it was incurable... and the Christian world, especially those of us here in Aus, have watched and prayed as he went through treatment.

It came out in an email last night, that Mike Guglielmucci was not suffering from cancer, and never has been. There was no illness, no treatment, and no miraculous healing... and people are angry. People are shocked and hurt, and very confused...

Personally, I'm concerned for the friends I have at PS. I'm concerned for my sister and her friends. And I'm curious to know how much of WHAT is true, and what else is behind this. Because there has to be more.

The evil one is at work... he is alive, and its only with God's help, with the prayers and FAITH of millions, that he can be defeated.

I pray... I pray that we can band together as brothers and sisters in Christ... that through prayer, we can support the Guglielmucci family. That through prayer, and through the LOVE God gave us, that we can support the people affected by this shocking news.

Romans 5:8 says: "And God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

God didn't judge or condemn us.. so let us show that love to Mike Guglielmucci now. Let us join together to see him become one with Christ again.

And let us not forget, that despite the downfall of a well-known healing evangelist, the healing miracles of our Lord, Jesus Christ, are REAL, and continue to happen each and every day. And let us continue to pray... for God Reigns. Always.

Shout out

You know, I had to ponder where to put this post...Sweet Relief , or here? It doesn't really matter, because its a little bit Diabetes, but essentially, quite a bit God.

Yesterday, I was struggling. From the moment I woke up, my bgs were sky high, and no matter what I did, they just wouldn't drop. I injected and injected, and drank glass upon glass of water. I changed my insulin bottles, everything... and nothing was working. Of course, along with the high bgs came the standard tiredness and crankiness, and I ended up posting a vent over at DF . Not long later, I recieved a beautiful PM from Cheryl, just reminding me to give it to God. She reminded me that just when it seems we are doing great in our walk with God, the evil one will try to attack. And she is so right.

So Cheryl... thank you. Thank you for reminding me that even when it's something like D, I need to give it to God, and trust in Him always. And thank you for praying.

You Rock, Girl.

K.

A Purpose and a Plan

I am convinced that God has a plan for each of our lives. He wants us each to thrive and to understand and fulfill His purpose for us.

The people we meet, the circumstances we face, the laughter, the joy, the challenges, the heartache …. all of this ultimately falls into what we are to discover about ourselves or our journey or our purpose. The discovery may not be evident at first. In fact, it may take what seems like an eternity to us to understand. But, the more we open ourselves to Him - to seek His companionship, love and guidance - the more we will know about His plan for us. And one day, when we see God face to face, we will finally get it all.

Mixed Feelings?

Today was one of those up and down days.

A couple of close friends and I visited another church today, and can I just say that I really didn't feel it. I felt no passion, only hype. The speaker, I felt, was trying too hard, was too forceful, and he left me feeling cold, as did the entire service. All I could think was, I can't wait to get home to NewHope. Of course, my negative feelings at this church were only exacerbated by the rude people pushing and shoving, the total lack of signage toward an exit (what, do they want you to stay there overnight?!), and the fact that my glucometer somehow fell out of my handbag at some stage, and I was in a total panic. I just wanted to cry.

So fast forward... On entering the building back at NewHope , I realised that it was indeed, truly my home. Within seconds of seeing the familiar faces, the much loved walls and sanctuary, my panic and stress was gone. I was enveloped in hugs by my best friends, and surrounded by walls where I had encountered God a million times, and in a million ways.

The service was amazing. The worship was led by our wonderful youth, and they did a terrific job, as always. It makes me happy to see such love and passion from Christ in the faces and body language of the teens. The sermon, however... was just beyond awesome. We had a guest speaker tonight, a Youth Pastor from Box Hill North Salvation Army church. His sermon was his own Testimony, and I was moved beyond description. Matthew told us about Growing up in a loving Christian home, and turning away from God and into drugs at the age of 13. At 16, he left home, and was soon dealing drugs, and getting himself into more and more debt. He was hooked on cocaine, and so far from God its not funny. It was only the death of one of his close friends, when he himself was only 21, that brought him back to God, and to a new life in Him, a life where there was no room for anything he had been up to in the past.

Matthew's testimony had me in tears, and I realised after that I was actually talking to God the entire time I was listening. I want what Matthew has now. I want the faith, I want the trust, and I want to cling to God with all I have, through everything, good, bad and indifferent. I want to give up all that I have, all my ambition, wants and needs, and put it all behind Christ. I want Him to be my number one, to be the sole reason I wake in the morning, and the sole reason I go to bed at night.

I want to be a child and woman in Christ, living only for him.

Evolution

That is, mine as a Christian, not the theory that Darwin proposed.

I always believed that the most important part of my Christian story was the beginning, where I first came to know God on a personal basis. I believed that this was MY story, MY journey, that it was about how I came to know God... and it's only recently that I've realised that I had it all flip-side.

This isn't MY story... it's God's story, about how he found another lost lamb. It's His story of finding me, bringing me to Him, and teaching me how to love Him.

It's not MY journey... this is God's journey. He invited me to walk with Him, to learn from Him, not the other way around. I wasn't seeking Him, although I should have been. He had to find me, show Himself to me, before I even started to look.

It's definitely not about how I came to know God... it's about how He revealed himself to me, and how he continues to do so.



In the last couple of weeks, I've come to realise that I no longer BELIEVE in God... I don't just blindly accept Him.. I KNOW He is real, and true, and living. I am a much happier person than I can ever remember being. I'm more confident, more comfortable. And I finally know the truth... I am 100% God's Girl.

Questioning God??? Not anymore

As I sit and think about you, God, I feel tears run down my face and into my hands, and it is only then that I realise that I am weeping. Strangely enough, this realization only makes me cry more, and the silent weeping turns into a ragged sobbing. I feel Alicia’s hand on my arm, but her touch offers no comfort. I hear her praying quietly beside me, for me, but her words wash over me, and make no difference. It is only her voice that I hear, I have no idea what she is saying, and I wonder, do I even want to know?

The church service finished a good half hour ago, but we still sit, Alicia praying, me just crying. Someone turns down the lights, our hint to go, yet still, we just sit. The last teenage stragglers leave, heading across the road for a healthy McDonalds dinner. Someone puts a hand on my shoulder and joins Alicia in prayer. And still, I just sit, staring at the bottom of the chair in front of me. I can’t bear to look up at the cross. Suddenly I realise that the praying has stopped. Alicia still has her hand on my arm, and I realise it is Monica with her hand on my shoulder. I squeeze her hand, and whisper a strangled “thank you” to them both. They close in for a group hug, Tim and Amy joining in, and I hug back, choking back another sob as I do so. There is so much love for me amongst these people, and I have so much for them, but tonight, it is more than I can handle. I don’t want to hug. I don’t want to be told I am loved, and I certainly don’t want anyone to ask if I am ok, because right at this point in time, I am not.

We leave the auditorium, calling quiet thanks to Graham the caretaker for waiting behind for us, Alicia handing me a Kleenex as we walk. An unspoken decision is made to head over to meet the rest of the group for dinner, and we walk slowly, in silence. Jenny catches my eye as we walk in, a question on her face, and I nod once that I am okay. I order just a drink, I can’t face food tonight. We sit, and I listen to the conversation around me, but for once say nothing. The talk is about you, and I have nothing to add, only questions in my mind as I wonder, God, do you even exist?

This is where I was only 8 months ago. I look back now, and I question myself, wondering how I could ever doubt the existence of an everlasting God. In everything around me, I see God’s hand. I close my eyes, and I feel his presence. God, Christ… I don’t just believe any longer, I KNOW. In my heart, and in my soul, I KNOW that God is real, and true. There is no doubt for me, just as there is no condemnation, no judgement from God.

Every time I used to have any sort of struggle, I would turn away from God, asking where he was, why I couldn’t see Him, wanting to know whether or not He existed. I wanted to believe, but in my heart, I think I was scared to. No longer. I’m not stuck in that limbo anymore. If I struggle, I turn to God. If my friends are struggling, I turn to prayer, praying with them and for them.

In everything that I am, everything that I have, I know that God is real, God is sovereign, God is true.

God is mine.

Asking for Forgiveness

We had a truly amazing church service this weekend... Our senior Pastor preached from Hosea 14, Repentance to bring Blessing

Repentance to Bring Blessing
1 Return, O Israel, to the LORD your God.
Your sins have been your downfall!
2 Take words with you
and return to the LORD.
Say to him:
"Forgive all our sins
and receive us graciously,
that we may offer the fruit of our lips. [a]

3 Assyria cannot save us;
we will not mount war-horses.
We will never again say 'Our gods'
to what our own hands have made,
for in you the fatherless find compassion."

4 "I will heal their waywardness
and love them freely,
for my anger has turned away from them.

5 I will be like the dew to Israel;
he will blossom like a lily.
Like a cedar of Lebanon
he will send down his roots;

6 his young shoots will grow.
His splendor will be like an olive tree,
his fragrance like a cedar of Lebanon.

7 Men will dwell again in his shade.
He will flourish like the grain.
He will blossom like a vine,
and his fame will be like the wine from Lebanon.

8 O Ephraim, what more have I [b] to do with idols?
I will answer him and care for him.
I am like a green pine tree;
your fruitfulness comes from me."

9 Who is wise? He will realize these things.
Who is discerning? He will understand them.
The ways of the LORD are right;
the righteous walk in them,
but the rebellious stumble in them.

Allan led us in prayer, asked us to give it up to God, to confess and repent, and ask his forgiveness... then as we closed our prayers, we sung Amazing Grace, which never fails to make me cry. The testimony in that hymn is amazing.

This week, I'm praying for more faith, that I can have the strength to give it all up to God, no matter how big or small my problems. Nobody but God can heal me.

The Butterfly

Fragile
As the breath of an angel
The wings of the butterfly flutter on the air,
A short spray of colour as the creature floats past.
Created by the hand of God,
for no human could imagine such beauty,
delicacy,
fragility.
My urge, is to reach out and touch.
Its beauty is unsurpassed,
its touch gentle,
The petal of the flower it lands on
barely disturbed.
Wings displayed, I am transfixed by the beauty.
And I thank God,
and I praise Him,
for crafting such beauty for my eyes.

Knock Knock...

"Knock Knock.... Hellllooooo? God, are you there? Knock Knock Knock... God??? God???? Oh come on, open the door! God?..."

Sometimes, I feel like I am standing on one side of a door, and God is on the other, hiding, just waiting for me to leave so that he can start walking around and relaxing home alone... Like I am knocking and knocking, calling and calling, and not getting an answer, like those pesky visitors that you didn't invite, and don't want to see, the ones that just WILL NOT take a hint and leave.

I find that at some times when I feel I really need Him, He doesn't answer me, that He is too busy helping others with bigger problems, so why would He have time for me? I mean, there's that earthquake in China, isn't He probably flat out busy getting all His angels organised and helping all the people over there? Or protecting that little girl on the rough side of town that's being beaten by her daddy? So why am I disturbing Him?

I know why... it's because God WANTS us to disturb Him. Our heads might be arguing that we don't need to bother God with this one, that we can do it ourselves... but the Holy Spirit, the living breath of God inside us, tells our hearts different. It tells our hearts the truth. We are SUPPOSED to turn to God with our problems. He is our Heavenly Father, creator of all we are and all we have. He is powerful and strong, gentle and loving, caressing and comforting, SOVEREIGN and GOOD.

He loves each and every one of us, and He knows that we have to make our mistakes to grow, but He helps us to learn from them, and He is there to pick up the pieces when we DO make those mistakes. As children of God, we don't NEED to run and hide, we don't NEED to try and take it all on ourselves. When we call, He answers... I think that sometimes, we just need to try harder to listen to Him, to see his signs and read his language.

I have a new favourite verse, and it so clearly describes the love of God to His children...

Romans 5:8 - But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

I love that... the stark truth of those words. We were, and are, sinners. We aren't worthy of His love, we have done nothing to deserve all He bestows upon us... But, he does it anyway, because he loves us. He made the ultimate sacrifice in order to show us that Love.

Blessings.

Reading about Ruth (part one)

After nearly a year without going, I have joined a new small group. It's fantastic... the group are all people that I love and adore, and our leaders are absolutely lovely. And that's not even the best part.

I thought that I was doing just fine reading the bible by myself, doing my own personal studies, but I'm realising that I get so much more from studying with a group, praying each week with people that care for one another, and knowing that you have follow up with one another.

We are studying the book of Ruth, a character of the bible that I truly love and respect. She was a moabite girl, her bloodline originally came from incest. She believed in her own gods, not in the Lord God. But her husband, father-in-law and mother-in-law were God's people. When there was nobody but her MIL Naomi left in her married family, Ruth chose to follow Naomi home to Bethlehem, and in doing so, chose to trust in God. (Ruth 1:16 But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.)



I find Ruth so very amazing. She stepped out in love, to follow her MIL to a place she had never been, a place where Moabites were scorned and hated. More than that, she stepped out in FAITH, choosing to love and follow a God that she barely knew.

My prayer this week, is that I may have the love and faith that Ruth had, that I may love and Trust the Lord with my ENTIRE heart and Soul.

For God is GOOD all the time.

What's in the Way?

Does it ever seem as if God is far away when you need Him near? It does to me. And at those times I recognize the gulf between us, I wonder exactly what is standing between God and me. Upon reflection, the answer is usually that what is in the way is ME - it's something that I'm either doing or not doing that is separating me from God.

I'm unfocused, not even bothering to look to Him for anything for long stretches of time. Not that I don't go to church, participate and love Him there. I do. But it's the rest of the time that I'm undisciplined, or lazy, or diverting myself from things I should do, or worse - doing things I shouldn't!

There's a beautiful scripture that I love to use as a prayer to put me in the right place to connect with God. Unlike most scriptures, I learned and prefer it in the KJV.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. (Psalm 51:10-12)

It's time. I plan to start each day with this scripture until further notice!

Grace and Peace,
Timothy

Light to Those in Darkness

Sometimes when we struggle repeatedly, it is easy to feel isolated and alone in darkness.

I ask myself why it is that when that when this happens, I do not always turn immediately to God for help? Why must I feel compelled to carry all the burdens on my own back before finally letting go and letting God take control?

More than two months ago now, I suffered a personal loss - one that will potentially have a major impact on how I live and what I do. At first, I worked on addressing it diligently. Then, when I didn't get the results I expected, I began to look for distractions to relax my mind and take it off the issue that was so consuming me. Yet, even in my diversions, the issue at hand kept creeping back into my brain. I was doing no better than to fumble around in the dark! Too little I reached for my flashlight, the eternal brilliance of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ!

With these thoughts in mind I opened my Bible to the following:

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? O Lord my God, give light to my eyes. I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord for he has been good to me. (Psalm 13)

My conclusion? That only by genuinely trusting God and by asking for his illuminating guidance will I find the right path. I will pray and sing his praises now, for I am confident that he will light the way.

Grace and Peace,
Timothy

Praise Him

Praise Him... praise Him... come and praise His Holy name....

New Author

A good friend of mine, Timothy, will be posting his thoughts here also. If you would like to be an author on SALT & LIGHT, just pop me an email letting me know.

Blessings,

K

What Does It Mean

To Be Salt And Light?

It's not an easy question to answer.

I believe that, literally, to be salt of the earth means to preserve the earth... to preserve the Earth as God made it, beautiful, honest, filled with love and hope. As a Christian, I want to put out all of those things.. beauty and honesty, love and hope, preserving God's power on Earth, preserving the world as belonging to GOD, not to people or demons.

To be light in the world... We are supposed to be a shining example of God's love and truth. We are supposed to shine a light on God's work, and shine a light toward God. Shakespeare said "All the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players". So what if God is the star of the show, and we, Christians, are the lighting technicians? We know where He is. We can see Him on stage, and we can see the work He is doing... but without our lights being on Him, nobody else can. It's just an empty stage.

So go... be salt and light in the world.... Preserve the love and truth, the beauty that God created, and shine your Light on Him, on His way, so that others may find Him too.